The Power of Effective Prayers

Pray Sincerely, Pray Effectively.

Prayer is a cornerstone of every religion. We pray daily, often following rituals that bring us comfort and peace. But for many, it's just a routine. Let's explore how to make our prayers more meaningful.

Beyond Rituals

Don't just go through the motions. Take a moment to understand the context and evolution of your prayers. This deeper connection can enrich your spiritual journey.

Making Your Prayers More Effective

Here are some tips to enhance your prayers:

1. Seek Guidance: Ask for help in becoming a better person in all aspects of life—personal, professional, social, and spiritual.
2. Empower Yourself: Instead of asking God to solve your problems, pray for the skills and strength to tackle them yourself.
3. Focus on Current Challenges: Pray for guidance on the problems you're actively working on.
4. Prioritize: Focus on one key issue in each area of your life and pray for help with those.
5. Express Gratitude: Thank God for the good things in your life.
6. Include Others: Pray for someone in your circle who needs support.

Personal and Focused

Keep your prayers personal. Focus on what matters most to you right now. This approach not only brings peace but also helps regulate emotions and improve health, as noted by gerontology professor Carolyn Aldwin.

Heartfelt Prayers

Are you putting your heart into your prayers, or is it just a routine? Sincere prayers can lead to a less stressful life and a deeper spiritual connection. So, take a moment to reflect and make your prayers truly meaningful.

How to Solve Life Problems?

 

How to Solve Life Problems?

Do you have problems in your life? Yes, you have.

I have many problems in my life. You have many problems in your life.

He and she have many problems.

All your relatives, friends and colleagues have problems.

Notice that it is not single but in plural. Not just one problem, but more than one.

During this journey, different problems come and go. So, what to do? In other words, how to carry on?

Let us start with basics.

Step 1

Divide your life into four broad segments.

1) Physical

2) Emotional

3) Spiritual

4) Financial

 Here you have to face two facts of life.

1) These four aspects of your life are not and will never be exactly equal. Sometimes one or two aspects dominate a period of your life and at other times, they weaken.

Physical, emotional, spiritual, and financial aspects are not static. They are fluid. They ebb and flow.

2) Each one of us is different from every other human being in the world. Hundreds of subtle factors like DNA, culture, habits, upbringing, education, etc., impact and influence our lives in different ways.

Therefore, solutions to your problems can not be specific. From the advice, from the guidance, from the help available to you, you have to adopt some methods to make the general into specific for your situation.

Some people have told me they had tried specific actions picked up from books and media and could not solve their problems or could not gain any benefit.

Perhaps you too would have seen this in your life or in the lives of people near and dear to you. Advices flood us from everywhere. Go on a diet, join a gym, read this book, listen to that podcast, take therapy from psychiatrists, follow this horoscope, sip that tonic, earn more money to feel happy, so on and so forth.

You have to be choosy. Do not blindly follow any advice or suggestion. Don’t put into practice anything that is not congruent with your life. The solution has to fit in with your culture and your value-system.

Lots of solutions come from people in western civilization, which is not as old as India, China, Japan, or even Greece. Western society is yet to evolve fully and so, it gives more importance to an individual rather than a family or a community and more importance to materialistic lifestyle of temporary pleasures (short-term) rather than long term spiritual and emotional equilibrium.

Step 2

I suggest you write down a list of problems. They should jump out of your mind readily.

Try to group them into the four categories mentioned above.

After a day or two, look at the list: Which category has more entries? Are the entries minor or major problems?

For example, the physical group in my list may have several entries, including these two items: A) go to sleep early and B) Have eye surgery for cataract. Obviously, item B is important and takes priority. 

Step 3

Your next step, therefore, is to pick one top priority item (only one) from each category and note them down. Do not think too much about other entries in the list and focus your mind on the four priority items.

What actions to take and how much effort to put in to tackle these. Think on those lines. There are many proven methods. We will look at them in the next article.

Beware of Lifestyle Creep

 

Not able to save? Blame it on lifestyle creep!

You know the importance of savings; your parents and elders have pounded it into your head.

And you think you are saving money and investing it for a better future. But not enough.

Over the years, your income has increased but your savings have not increased not that much. You have this thought arising in your mind now and then that you ought to save more but you are not able to.

There are many reasons for not saving more and each person’s circumstances, duties and responsibilities to his family is different. Each one’s needs and wants are different.

However, there is one common reason for saving less and spending more.

That reason is called “lifestyle inflation”, or as Americans say it, “lifestyle creep.”

What is “lifestyle inflation?”

We have heard about inflation that raises prices of stuff and cost of living. But this “lifestyle inflation” creeps on you slowly, gradually, often without you being aware of it.

After the last salary increase, you sold yr car and bought a new bigger model.

Or you sold your trusted Hero or Honda, or TVS and bought a Royal Enfield classic.

Or you started eating out more often. Or you moved to another house for a higher rent.

Why you do this?

 1) You have watched neighbours or relatives living an expensive lifestyle and when you can afford it, you too do the same to keep up with them.

2) You simply do not prioritize your financial matters: you have no idea of how much to save and how much to spend. Your financial life is running on automatic, without a plan.

3) You are used to immediate pleasure from lavish spending. You avoid saving and investing to achieve long-term goals as it entails the pain of sacrificing a posh lifestyle.

Take action

1) Draw up a financial plan; consult a qualified person if necessary. Spend and save according to the plan.

2) Pay yourself first before you pay others. Automatically save first and spend only what money is leftover. Make savings compulsorily the first thing you do whenever you get an income.

3) Draw up a monthly budget for expenses and monitor your spending periodically.

You want a better future

It is your life. Live your life according to your needs and wants. Create your lifestyle in accordance with your values, your budget and within your means.

Keep your long-term financial goals in mind and do not live to satisfy others’ expectations or competing with lifestyles of other people.

 

A Beginner’s Guide to Meditation

Meditation is good for you. It helps in achieving inner peace, boosts your health, improves your mood, and increases your mindfulness.

Why?

People who meditate are far less likely to react with negative emotions to any given situation.

If you meditate regularly and consistently, you are on your way to leading a balanced life.

Start meditating and make it a part of your daily routine.

Meditation is for your spiritual life, as exercise is for your physical life.

Meditation is a key habit that gives more value for the effort.

Exercise, nutrition, meditation, yoga, Pranayama, and kindness are some of the key habits.

Key habits are multipliers: they help you improve many other aspects of your life.

How? Have a fixed time for meditation.

Have a fixed place for meditation.

Have a fixed sequence of preparations for meditation.

Morning is the best time for meditation for the majority of people.

You will find it easy to practice if you meditate after your bath.

In the beginning, tell your mind repeatedly, “As soon as I complete my exercise (or running or jogging etc.), I bathe. As soon as I finish my bath, I meditate. As soon as I end my meditation, I…” This method is an enormous help in quickly developing a chain of automatic habits.

Meditate daily at the same place in the same room facing the same direction, sitting in the same comfortable position.

Start your meditation by reducing possible distractions: close the window/door, switch off TV and close your laptop or any other gadgets.

Close your eyes.

Visualise your mind as a clear expanse of blue sky without clouds, pleasant and peaceful.

Start breathing in a measured, conscious way.

Think that breathing consists of four stages: inhale, hold, exhale, hold.

Beginners can mentally count 1 to 4 or 1 to 6 for each stage of breathing.

Your mind will start having thoughts, random thoughts rising unbidden, emerging on their own.

Do not resist and do not prevent your thoughts.

Learn to observe what your mind is doing.

You are not your mind; your mind is not you.

Within a few days, you will become aware of your mind.

Your mind constantly generates thoughts. They are often random, without any rhyme or reason.

Your thoughts are mostly about the past (regrets, remorse) or about the future (worry, anxiety, dread, fear).

You will notice that the thoughts coming from your mind are rarely about the present.

You are already visualising your mind as a rectangular piece of pleasant, peaceful sky.

Now, think of the thoughts as clouds drifting across the sky.

Do not steer or control or direct them. Just observe them.

Do not try to stop them or speed them up. Just observe them.

They are mere clouds travelling across the sky and disappearing from view, just as new clouds start their travel.

Do not focus on what the thoughts are: they don’t matter, ignore them.

Many, many days later, the number of clouds drifting or speeding or floating across the rectangle of clear blue sky will be fewer.

Thoughts will not stop completely. It does not matter. Thoughts are fleeting, temporary. Let them come and let them go.

Huge benefits Miracle! Turning point! One day, you will discover that the rectangle of clear blue sky is just that, with very few clouds and, at times, no clouds at all.

That sense of bliss, that attitude of calmness, will not come soon and will not come easily. You have to work to achieve that.

Take it easy. Start small. Begin to meditate for just 5 minutes daily.

When meditation has become an ingrained habit, increase the duration to 10 minutes; later to 15 minutes.

Most meditators do not go beyond 20 minutes at a time. Instead, these veterans add 5 minutes of meditation in the evening before dinner or at night before going to bed.

Immense value for just a few minutes daily! So much benefit to you for so little effort!

Meditation is a key habit that impacts positively on many facets of your life.

It makes you mindful of the present.

It heightens your awareness.

It slows and regulates your heartbeat.

It reduces stress by enabling you to face the travails of daily life serenely.

It even improves digestion and sleep pattern, according to many surveys.

Start small Beginners mostly start meditating for 5 minutes and if they have the help of an app to time that 5-minute period, they can progress faster. The app can also provide chanting of mantra or background music for the duration.

Many free / paid apps are available. Beginners can consider free Android apps such as Insight Timer or Let’s Meditate or Medito.

Do not be tempted by people who try to sell you things such as meditation-robe, chair, sitting mat, bell or timer, personal coaching and so on. They are not necessary.

Start small. Once a day for just 5 minutes and then go from there.

If you start with big plans to meditate for 15 or 20 minutes, you will not succeed.

If you plan to meditate for 5 minutes at a time for twice or thrice a day, you will not succeed.

If you intend to meditate on alternate days or only on weekends and so on, you will not succeed.

Start small, keep it simple, do it regularly.

There will be days when you will not feel like meditating. You have to stick to it.

There will be times when “justifiable reasons” tempt you not to meditate. You must persevere.

There will be occasions when “changed circumstances” force you to consider abandoning meditation. Ignore them and go ahead, just do it.

It will take anywhere between 21 days to 90 days for any habit to become a routine act, performed automatically. Till then, be prepared to ignore all ‘valid’ reasons your mind presents you to abandon the habit.

Be prepared to be amazed, be ready to be astonished by the benefits you get from meditation.

Know that the benefits are not a one-time affair; you benefit not for a day or for a month or for a year; the gain is lifelong.

You will be a better person. Your life will become worth living.

You will flourish.

Good luck and all the best.

The SImple Path to Wealth - by JL Collins

I liked the book, The Simple Path to Wealth, by JL Collins. The book is slim, with less than 170 pages. That is because the message it gives is a simple one. Its basic theme is:

• Avoid debt.
• Save maximum.
• Invest what you don’t spend.

While I would not hesitate to recommend this book to anyone interested in improving their financial life (who isn’t?), I did find many of the details are aimed at North American readers and would be irrelevant to India. But the underlying concept is universal.

Some of the ideas from the book:

• Treat money as your tool to use in creating the life you want.
• Treat money as your servant.
• Don’t be so obsessed with money that it becomes your master.

• Aim to become financially independent.
• If you live salary to salary, you will not be financially free.
• Avoid getting into debt.
• If you already have debts, first do everything to pay off those.
• Build up a reserve fund for emergencies.
• The reserve fund should be at least equal to 6 months’ earnings.
• Limit your spending to increase savings.
• Deploy the savings to increase your investments.
• Prefer index funds over stocks or mutual funds, for your investments.
• Index funds are simpler and more effective at creating long term wealth.
• A portion of your investments can go into top grade bonds.
• Bonds are less volatile and makes your total portfolio grow smoothly.
• As you get older and older, reduce investments in index funds and increase in bonds.
• (We in India can also go for Govt's savings schemes and FDs in banks or in PSUs, in place of bonds.)
• Stay away from stocks and complex financial products.
• Plan your finances in such a way that you can withdraw 4 to 7% annually for your post-retirement life.
• When you plan your finances in a simple, least complicated way, you can focus more on enriching your life.
  
  In short, to have a financially independent life:
  Avoid debts, spend less than you earn, and invest the difference.
  
  That’s it. Simple and straight-forward. Very practical and sane advice.

Buy Smartly

 

Buy Smartly

This time too Anand agreed to write-up the gist of the free-wheeling talks between the multi-millionaire Kalidas and a group of about 20 persons, including Anand, who were interested to learn from their mentor. Here’s that write-up:

Buying things

When you know what and why you’re buying things, you grow conscious of how your spending habits evolve. For example, if you adopt a concept of needs, wants and desires; you can categorise each purchase accordingly. You will be aware of how much you are spending on items of desire, for example.

Some of the things you bought regularly as wants make you think they are now needs. As someone named Sebastian Junger said, “Comforts, once gained, become necessities.”

How do I know if I'm buying something unnecessarily?

In the past, I have counselled a couple to adopt a method so that they could manage their emotions better and reduce or avoid impulse buys.

What is the method you told them?

Members of a household discuss and agree to a threshold amount, say, Rs. 1000. If the husband wants to buy any items that are not daily necessities, he has to discuss with his wife if the item costs more than Rs. 1000. Basically, this helps to think it over before deciding to buy high-priced items.

What is the benefit of following this method?

You'd be surprised; how many times the couple decided not to buy; or to buy a better alternative or manage with a substitute they already possessed. The very fact that a spouse must discuss and both should agree avoids or delays the purchase.

An additional feature of this method is it reduces arguments between husband and wife!

Any other methods, sir?

Before you buy something that is expensive, give yourself a ‘cooling period’, a pause, of at least 2 days. After two days, if you still think you must buy, ok, go ahead. Often, however, after that delay, you would find you are not keen on the purchase, after all. This method teaches you not to act on impulses.

Oh, ok. You are saying many purchases are made on impulse and could be avoided by this method. Right?

Yes. As the saying goes, "A penny saved is a penny earned. And the habit of discussing with the spouse and arriving at a consensus is also a good one. "

Thank you, sir, now I can understand and appreciate what you are telling me. 

Are there any other 'hacks' on intelligent buying?

There are many such 'hacks' as you call them. I remember telling a relative of mine not to buy anything (other than fruits and vegetables) from door-to-door vendors. Instead, make a habit of buying from reputed retailers, preferably when they offer discounts.

Another more important point is to keep your credit card at home when you go shopping. People tend to buy more when they use credit cards. That’s because, it feels as if they are not spending a lot of money.

Sir, a final word of advice to end this session?

Well, before you buy high-value items, you are comparing costs of different offers. However, remember also to work out the lifetime cost of the product. If you make it a habit to estimate the lifetime cost and the opportunity cost, I am sure many a time you would decide not to buy.

That’s all, till the next meeting …

Habits

“Your habits will determine your future.” – Jack Canfield

Habits shape our character and our character shapes our future. To have a better future, we should have more good habits.

Why good habits are important? How they affect us? What are the benefits?

Here are the five best books on habits that answer the above questions with practical advice and useful tips.

The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg

Charles Duhigg examines why certain routines become habits faster. He details the answer as a) cue b) routine c) reward. Morning bath (cue) and immediately after the bath you sit quietly for 10 minutes of meditation (routine) and feel calm and relaxed (reward). We also learn how habits are formed and how bad habits can be replaced by good habits.

Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg

Brian Jeffrey Fogg is an authority on the topic of habit formation. His book, “Tiny Habits” says anyone can easily form a good habit by adopting MAP method. MAP stands for Motivation, Ability and Prompt.

Motivation: You want to improve your health and decide to take up walking every morning. Your determination for better health is strong and you are motivated to a high degree to achieve the goal.

Ability: How much effort, time, and energy – in other words, your ability and capacity – can you give? You are more likely to be successful if you start with very small steps and increase the effort gradually over time.

Prompt: Because you may forget to take even that tiny action you scheduled, you use a daily activity as a trigger or a cue. When it occurs, you start your action. For example, after your morning chai, you will begin the exercise.

Atomic Habits by James Clear

Changes that seem small and unimportant at first will compound into remarkable results if you’re willing to stick with them for years.

So, break up the change you want into smallest possible actions that are easy to do and need very little will power.

And make those small actions into regular habits. Increase or enlarge them gradually. The magic of compounding will work to provide you with amazing results.

High Performance Habits by Brendon Burchard

I found this book different from the others mentioned here. It lists the desirable character traits as the habits you should develop to be a successful human being. The habits are:

 

1. Seek Clarity
2. Generate Energy
3. Raise Necessity
4. Increase Productivity
5. Develop Influence
6. Demonstrate Courage

However, the book does offer practical suggestions to succeed at what you want. With consistency and discipline, we can incorporate these six habits into our daily routines.

Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin

The author says any action we perform regularly and frequently becomes automatic and such automatic actions are habits that require no conscious decisions. Knowing your inner self, your tendency that characterises you will make it easier for you to break bad habits and develop good habits. The four tendencies listed by the author are: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels.

My recommendation

While there are many more books on the topic of habits, I liked these five books as they are less academic or theoretical and more practical. However, if you want to select only one or two books, I recommend ‘Atomic Habits’ and ‘Tiny Habits’